


:/ tattoos and impossible technology

by raw_sausig (crystal_gay)



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Memes, Post-Canon, jokes about the umbrella times, lucretia roasting, more will be added as time goes on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 03:24:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16946070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystal_gay/pseuds/raw_sausig
Summary: yes i made ~another~ chatficno i don’t regret itand yesi did say ass tattoos(my phone will not let me see my own fucking fanfic if i didnt change the title, sorry)





	:/ tattoos and impossible technology

**Author's Note:**

> just so u know i can’t rename chapter one but i would’ve probably named it “oompa LUPa” or something

**chaLUPa created “red robes + taako’s bf”!**

**chaLUPa added 5+ people to “red robes + taako’s bf”!**

Taako Taaco: hey yo lulu how the  _ fuck _

chaLUPa: bro, we defeated basically an entire plane named  _ john _ , are you really going to question this

chaLUPa: we’re magic and honestly our technology usage and availability is a mess as it is

Taako Taaco: f a i r

chaLUPa: hang on

**chaLUPa changed Taako Taaco’s nickname to “taco”!**

taco: EYYYYYYYYYY

chaLUPa: AYYYYYYYY

taco: i missed knowing you exist in a form other than ‘umbrella’

jorts: Hey Taako, hey Lup.

chaLUPa: hey babe ;3

jorts: It’s bad enough that you make that face in real life, please not here too.

mr kravs: what the fuck

taco: get comfy b you’re in this for the long haul

mr kravs: i know this and i love you

taco: awwww im blushing

Pandemonium: He is, its weird to see an elf blush

sideburns: you do realize we saw lup blush COUNTLESS times over that century

sideburns: no thanks to  _ barry _

jorts: TO BE FAIR,

jorts: IT WAS UNINTENDED AT LEAST 98 PERCENT OF THE TIME.

jorts: Plus, she made me blush too.

sideburns: true, but you don’t accidentally create fire when you blush

chaLUPa: i said i was sorry!!!!!

sideburns: pal you burned a HANDPRINT into our SHIP

chaLUPa: that was one time magnus, one time!

taco: i was there and i did  _ not  _ need to see my sister staring at barry bluejeans’ ASS for oh maybe the  _ nth  _ time in a row

chaLUPa: you literally whispered “get some” to me after that duet but okay

Pandemonium: Cant blame her honestly

taco: okay this is almost as gross as the vine incident

Pandemonium: Hey, we needed to get in that building!!!! Does it matter that i dirty talked some plants???

sideburns:  _ YES!!! _

chaLUPa: he whatnow

taco: oh, a little while before that cart race (you must have been asleep), we had to get in a building that was covered in apparently sentient vines

taco: merle used a spell and flirted with the vines until they had a goddamn plant orgasm

sideburns: one whipped his ass as we walked in

chaLUPa: ,,,, yo merle

Pandemonium: Yeeeesssss??

chaLUPa: i am your friend, and i love you dearly,

chaLUPa: but what the Actual Fuck

jorts: Gonna have to agree with Lup there.

taco: yeah lulu, shit got wild when you were a parasol of doom

**chaLUPa changed their nickname to “parasol of doom”!**

parasol of doom: im an umbrella baby

parasol of doom: if i ever get another body im getting a tattoo of an umbrella

taco: fine but i’m matching

parasol of doom: sounds good, where should we get it

mr kravs: taako i know what you’re about to suggest, please no

taco: ass tattoo?

parasol of doom: oh my god yes

taco: omg merle!!! we’re gonna match!!!!

moon moon: I did not need to be reminded of his ass tattoo. That day I saw more of Merle than I ever expected to see.

Pandemonium: Again, i’m sorry for depriving you of one fraction of this ass

Cap’nport: Why this?

jorts: I know. I know.

parasol of doom: o yeah anyone specific hurt you guys while i was taking a,,,,

jorts: Lup, please no.

parasol of doom:  _ raincheck? _

taco: AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

parasol of doom: EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

parasol of doom: but seriously like i dont want to put you guys all under an,,,, _ umbrella _ , but i need to beat up some people

taco: PUNS!!!!!! also nah lup you’re good you killed the one i was thinking of back in wonderland

moon moon: Sometimes I wish that you two didn’t know what puns were.

taco: and sometimes i wish that you didnt feed all my memories of my  _ twin sister  _ to a voidfish!

taco: we can’t always get what we want darling

sideburns: O H S H I T

Pandemonium: Well, damn

jorts: I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but get fucked Lucretia.

mr kravs: roasted

parasol of moon: cmere taako i need to noogie you out of pride

taco: NO PLEASE ANYTHING BUT NOOGIES

moon moon: I… Absolutely deserve that.

moon moon: Again, I am so sorry. I did something awful.

Cap’nport: Oh my god, get  _ over  _ it, Lucretia. You thought you were doing the right thing, and you made a mistake that you decided to fix. It’s been almost a year

moon moon: You… You’re right, Davenport.

parasol of doom: tfw you get  _ e r a s e d _

taco: goddammit lulu how did i know

parasol of doom: because you loooove your wise older sister

mr kravs: wait, arent you twins?

jorts: Lup is about five minutes older and won’t let Taako forget it.

parasol of doom: damn right!

taco: suddenly, i miss being an only child

Cap’nport: See, Lucretia? They’re making jokes about it.

moon moon: Fair.

parasol of doom: the only thing i’m upset about is not getting my 15 bucks because i still aim to  _ collect _

parasol of doom:  _ greg fucking grimaldis _

taco: greg fucking grimaldis.


End file.
